Healing Goes Both Ways
by sorrow angel
Summary: HP/SGA Being one of the finest doctors at the age of twenty-four isn't easy, especially with a patient like John Sheppard. John/Harry
1. The doctor and the patient

**Healing Goes Both Ways**

**By sorrow angel**

Pairing: John/Harry

~*~*~*

Harry knew that being one of the finest doctors at the age of twenty-four wasn't easy, but it turned out to be a lot more difficult when you had a patient like John Sheppard. That man appeared in the infirmary too many times for his liking and never stayed in bed. Whenever Sheppard steps in, Carson Beckett would gladly throw him to Harry to be in charge since he was the only one who was able to handle the colonel.

Harry had a reputation in Atlantis as well as in the hospitals he visited on Earth. He was not someone to take things lying down, regardless of who they were. Once, a marine was injured and had refused to head to the infirmary, before John could make it into an order, Harry knocked the marine out easily without any hesitation and dragged him to the infirmary. The silence and the look on everyone's faces was something no one in Atlantis would ever forget. Since then, no one really dared go against him.

He looked up from his work when he heard someone walking into the infirmary and groaned inwardly when he saw who it was. Harry wanted to smack the lopsided grin off John's face but pushed the urge away with some difficulty. "What happened now?" Harry gestured to an infirmary bed and John hopped onto it.

"Sparring accident," John replied as he showed the doctor the gash on his arm and Harry stared at him. "It's in the middle of the night." How the colonel could still grin when he was injured, was something Harry still couldn't figure out and what the hell was John thinking, sparring at such an hour?

"It is. Then what are you still doing here?"

"Just finishing some work." Harry glanced at him briefly before focusing on the wound. "Ronan?" He asked with some certainty.

"Yeah, how did you know?" John asked.

Harry went to grab some cloths and bandages. "Teyla gives you bruises; Ronan gives you cuts and bruises. Besides, only Ronan is crazy enough to spare with you at this hour." He pressed the cloth against the gash. "Honestly, you're such a trouble magnet."

John looked insulted. "I'm not."

"Yes, you are. You got a bug attached to your neck, adducted, drugged, attacked and other unpleasant stuffs." Harry stated. "Your team is ranked first for trouble." He watched in satisfaction as John opened his mouth and snap shut without uttering a word. Ignoring the scowl directed at him, Harry continued tending the wound before him.

John watched as Harry bandaged the gash carefully. "If that's the case, you must be an even bigger trouble magnet," Harry raised an eyebrow in question and he continued, "since you are attracting a trouble magnet like me."

Harry stilled for a brief moment before quickly finishing bandaging the injury, turned and walked towards his table, throwing the blooded cloth into the bin. "Just remember not to open up the wound again. I recall Elizabeth saying that you have an off-world mission tomorrow."

John frowned and went up to Harry, turning the doctor to face him by the arm. "Why do you keep avoiding this?"

"Avoid what?"

John glared, "You know what." He didn't believe for a moment that Harry had no idea what he was talking about.

"John..." Harry sighed but was cut off by a pair of lips on his. He knew he should be pushing the other away, his mind was screaming for him to do that but his arms seemed to have a mind of their own. He wrapped his arms around the colonel's neck, pulling him closer while John's wrapped around his waist.

Harry moaned softly as John's tongue slid past his lips and mapped its territory possessively. He tightened his arms till their body were flushed against each other and heard John groaned at the contact. Harry's mind was fuzzy; he couldn't think with that sinful mouth against his.

It was only until the lack of air that caused his mind to become clear, that it hit Harry what he was doing and immediately pushed John away, abruptly ending the kiss. He was still slightly dazed and tried to calm his breathing while John was slightly breathless and eyes darkened with emotions that Harry didn't want to admit. Harry shifted his gaze away from John, "You should get some rest, Colonel."

Harry turned to leave the infirmary when the next sentence stopped him in his tracks, "Running away again?" Whatever emotions he had been feeling earlier vanished as if they were never there and Harry felt himself tense.

"... Don't go there, John." Harry warned softly.

John continued as if he hadn't heard it, "That's what you did three years ago. You left without a word; I couldn't find you or contact you. You practically disappeared from the face of the planet." He bit out harshly, "You knew how I felt yet you left."

Closing his eyes, Harry felt the familiar guilt wash over him. The incident that happened three years ago was a sore point between him and John; they avoided going anywhere near it but it never left their minds. He didn't blame John for viewing it as his fault because it was true, though if he was given a chance to do over, he would still do what he did. "... Good night, Colonel." Harry said without turning around and left the infirmary.

Once he was out of the room, John clenched his teeth and resisted the urge to slam his fist against the wall. It would do no good other than hurt himself, though he felt that it would be better compared to an emotionally one. It was said that time heals all wounds but in this case, the pain and anger cause by Harry's unannounced departure didn't diminish.

The first time they met after three years was in Atlantis when Harry accepted the post. Apparently, he hadn't expected to see John here and things had been slightly awkward between them at first but they easily slipped into the comfortable relationship they had before. Harry had kept things platonic between them and John had gone along with it with much difficulty.

John leaned against the wall behind him and rubbed his face with the palm of his hand, wondering how long he has to continue keeping this façade up as he licked his lips, feeling the tingling effect of the aftermath of the kiss.

~*~*~*

To anyone, he seemed normal but Carson knew better. He could tell that Harry was distracted but applauded him for still being able to complete his duties without a single hitch. Carson watched as Harry poked uninterestedly at the food in front of him. "You've been avoiding the colonel for three days." Harry just twitched slightly. "... I saw what happened that night."

Harry dropped his fork and snapped his head up. He felt his face heating up at the thought of someone witnessing what happened in the infirmary. He wished that the ground would open and swallow him but kept his face neutral.

"Why do you do that?"

"Do what?" Harry asked, frowning in confusion.

"Push the colonel away. I can tell how you feel about him." Carson said patiently.

Harry tilted his head to the side slightly, "What are you talking about, Carson?" He continued playing innocent until he received a dry look, and let out a sigh as he asked, "How did you know?"

Carson gave him a knowing smile, "When you arrived in Atlantis, you and Colonel Sheppard were acting a wee bit odd around each other though it got better after a while." He said, "What gave you away was the way you treat the colonel."

Harry frowned in thought, "I treat everyone the same." He didn't remember treating John any differently from the rest of the expedition.

"It's not noticeable, but trust me, it's different." Carson had noticed the way Harry tended to soften slightly when dealing with the colonel. It wasn't easy to notice but he had known the other doctor for eight years, plus the fact that he saw him every day; he tended to notice the changes.

Harry closed his eyes for a brief moment before opening them again, "Did you know that I knew John five years ago?"

The Scottish's eyebrows were raised above their normal position. "Really?" He had no idea that the two knew each other before Atlantis.

The younger doctor nodded, "We met each other at a café. We didn't know each other back then but for some reason, we clicked. As cliché as it sounds, it's true." Carson let out a chuckle at that. "But what I didn't expect was for me to start having feelings for him. I wasn't ready to feel, especially not this much. And when Hogwarts contacted me three years ago... I took it." Pain and guilt was evident in those emerald eyes.

"You didn't tell the colonel?" Carson asked slowly.

Harry let out a harsh laugh, "I knew how I felt towards him and I knew his feelings for me, that's why I ran. Do you think I would tell him?" He let out a tired sigh, "When I accepted this post in Atlantis, I wasn't expecting to see John here. Those feelings, Carson, were never gone, just buried. And seeing him again..." Harry shifted his gaze away from the other doctor, "I push him away because I don't want to endanger him."

Carson scrunched his eyebrows together but it wasn't from confusion. "Harry, you have to let go and move on."A bitter smile appeared on Harry's face, as if mocking himself at such a thought and Carson wondered, not for the first time, why someone this young was placed with such a heavy burden on his shoulders that resulted in destroying his life. "Harry," he waited until green eyes focused on him before continuing, "What happened in the wizarding world was not your fault. If a war of that magnitude didn't have any casualties, then that would be bloody weird."

Harry gave the doctor a humorless smirk, "Maybe, but everyone around me died. Most of my family and friends are dead because of me."

"I'm still alive." Carson tried to reason.

"That's because you didn't know me when the war occurred. Plus," Harry said as he leaned back against his seat, "the first time we met, you and your brother were almost killed."

The first time when fate decided to arrange a meeting between the two of them, Diagon Alley was attacked and the Becketts were unfortunately caught in the crossfire. Carson was a squib while his brother was a wizard, though he wasn't that skilled in combat. If Harry hadn't appeared and defended them against the Death Eaters, both siblings would already be dead. It was hardly a meeting, but Carson had remembered that both he and his brother owned Harry their lives.

Dull green eyes that appeared whenever his past was brought up shifted to look at the table instead, "If John gets too close to me, he may end up meeting them sooner than I like."

"That is not true, you know that." Carson retorted. He didn't like it whenever Harry made himself sound like a deliverer of death. "And it's not like Colonel Sheppard's going to, god forbid, drop dead this very moment." As soon as those words left him, the Scottish winced visibly.

Harry pursed his lips and grimaced, "That's a very disturbing thought, Carson."

"Aye, sorry." Carson apologized, which the other waved off.

"Perhaps when I can see myself in a different light, I may consider about it." Harry gave a grim smile before shaking his head, "I don't want to talk about this." Those memories still hurt and talking about them made it worse.

Carson gave a sigh and gave a resigned look, "Fine."

The young doctor gave a small smile in return, "We better get back to the infirmary. Colonel Sheppard's and Major Lorne's teams are scheduled to back in two hours. Knowing them, they'd definitely be visiting." The Scottish chuckled in agreement.

True to his words, both teams were in the infirmary two hours later. Thankfully only three members were confined to the bed, which of course included one John Sheppard. Carson looked up from his data pad and at the man lying on the bed, "You are definitely staying in the infirmary for the next week, Colonel."

John made a face at that statement. Being off-duty was good, but being off-duty because of injuries was not something to look forward to. "A week? They're just minor injuries." He tried to argue his way out but that only seemed to make things worse. Beckett looked ready to hit him with the data pad that he was holding and the colonel briefly wondered if the doctor would do it.

"Minor injuries?" Carson looked at John in disbelief, "Being shot in the leg, having a wound on your forearm that was bleeding like hell a few minutes ago, two broken ribs and a concussion is not what I call minor injuries." The doctor glared as he finished his sentence. Doctors disliked it when patients underestimate their obviously serious injuries and disliked it even more when those patients try to wiggle their way back into their duties.

John couldn't argue with that. "Fine, but a week?" The last time this happened was for three days and he had been ready to pull his hair out, but a week would definitely drive him up the wall. "How about three days?" He tried to bargain and received stronger glare in return but that didn't mean he was going to back down.

Dealing with Sheppard made Carson remember why he had happily threw the task of dealing with the colonel to Harry. This man made him ready to scratch the wall in frustration and he wondered how Harry deal with him. Maybe he should pick up a skill or two from him...

Just then, the door to the infirmary swished opened and Carson thanked whatever gods that were watching when he saw who it was. He probably shouldn't be doing this but Sheppard was giving him a headache and Harry needed to stop avoiding him as well. "Thank god you're here. The colonel's giving me a bloody headache." Carson said as he openly shifted the responsibility to Harry who just watched him disappear into the corner of the room with raised eyebrows.

Harry sighed resignedly and took up his own data pad. Trust Carson to do something like this. He went to the side of John's bed and silently scanned through the colonel's records, deliberately avoiding making any eye contact with the man on the bed. John watched the doctor for a moment before speaking, "I'm sorry."

Only then did Harry look up and asked, "Are you really?"

"No." Came the immediate reply and Harry looked back down at the pad in his hand.

"Then don't apologize."

John worked his jaw but didn't say anything else. He knew that even if he did, Harry would avoid the subject and things would be more strained between them than they were now.

"How long are you confined to the infirmary?" Harry asked suddenly and John had to take a while for the question to process.

"Three days." John replied.

Harry didn't look up from the pad and just nodded. "Judging from your injuries, you may have to be here for a month." He said, ignoring the wide brown eyes that were staring back at him.

"What?" John frowned. One week was bad enough; there was no way in hell he was staying here for a whole month. "Beckett said a week, how did it change to a mon-" He shot back and snapped his mouth shut when he realized the slip-up he made. Only then did Harry look up from his data pad, green eyes looking at him expectedly.

"Didn't you say three days?" Harry questioned. Of course he knew that no doctors would agree to release the colonel in three days, least of all Carson. He just wanted to see if Sheppard would give himself away. John was smart enough not to reply and sulked. The doctor held back his laugher though it was evident in his voice. "Carson gave you a week for your injuries to heal, so stick to it. Any earlier could aggravate them." Harry rolled his eyes, "You're twenty-eight, so stop acting like a three-year old."

John immediately shot back, "Being stuck here for a week is boring. Three days were bad enough."

Harry just shrugged; obviously not listening to Sheppard's complaining. "One week, or I can make it a month." It was obvious which one John would choose, since there wasn't much of a choice. The colonel gave the doctor one more glare before closing his eyes in defeat and muttered under his breath. "I hate doctors."

The doctor's lips twitched slightly, "You're very welcome."

~*~*~*

TBC


	2. Talks and spars

**Healing ****Goes Both Ways**

**By sorrow angel**

Pairing: John/Harry

~*~*~*

Despite what others may think, Elizabeth did notice the little things that took place around her. She was aware of the tension between John and Harry when the doctor first arrived in Atlantis. Others thought that it may be due to the doctor not used to working with the military but she knew better. The way Harry's gaze never stayed on the colonel for more than ten seconds and John's eyes lingered on the doctor longer than necessary indicated otherwise.

She didn't push since it affected none of their duties and very quickly, the awkwardness between the two dispersed and it became a common sight to see them together. Elizabeth wasn't one to go prying into someone else's personal business but she could tell that something was off about them, and women were instinctive creatures.

She got her answer when she caught sight of John leaning on his arms against the railing in front of him, looking down at Harry who was talking to Teyla. Elizabeth almost recoiled at the intensity she saw in those brown eyes. She had never seen him like that; as if his entire being was focus on just one person.

Elizabeth shifted her gaze to the pair standing a floor below, and saw Teyla glanced briefly at John before focusing back on Harry. The Athosian apparently had noticed the staring and she wondered if Harry could feel the intense stare but the doctor seemed oblivious.

She had to admit that those two suited and complemented each other; Harry would keep John from doing anything dangerous and the colonel brought the doctor out of his mature demeanor that should not belong to someone of his age.

Elizabeth cleared her throat and with just a blink of an eye, the look in John's eyes vanished as if it hadn't been there in the first place and he turned to face her, giving his usual lopsided grin. She wondered how much practice he had to reach that speed and gave a warm smile. "Aren't you going to rest?"

"I am resting." John replied. A week after being released from the infirmary, things had been pretty calm and peaceful. He saw the concentrating look she was giving him, he wondered if something happened and was about to ask when Elizabeth went to stand next to him, mimicking his previous actions but staring out at the large windows instead of the pair below them. The colonel waited for her to say something but when it was obvious that she wasn't planning to speaking, he copied her actions. He wasn't going to stare at Harry openly with Elizabeth next to him, it would bring up questions that he had no wish to answer.

The silence between them was comforting, and after a while, Elizabeth decided to break it. "How are things between you and Harry?"

Sheppard raised an eyebrow, "Fine, why?"

"Things had been pretty tense between the two of you and Harry had been avoiding you." Elizabeth explained. She wasn't blind as to the tension between the both of them and had wondered what had taken place. John's posture changed slightly but otherwise, remained the same. "Does he know?" She asked.

John blinked at the question, "Does who know what?"

She looked at him knowingly, "Does Harry know how you feel?" John stiffened and Elizabeth almost grimaced at the hard look in his eyes. She wasn't used to seeing this side of John Sheppard. "No one told me, and I'm just asking." She assured him.

It took a few minutes before the hard look disappeared. Inwardly, John was surprised that Elizabeth knew and wondered if he had been that obvious about it. He debated with himself for a moment before speaking. "He knows." It wouldn't hurt to tell Elizabeth since he knew that she was discreet and along as it doesn't affect his work, she wouldn't interfere.

"That's what the tension was about?"

John pursed his lips, "Kind of." His voice was tight and Elizabeth wondered how bad the problem between them was. From the corner of her eye, she saw the pair below walked away and how John's eyes followed until they were no longer in sight before focusing his attention back on her. "Are we done?" He wasn't really in the mood to be talking about this. Elizabeth nodded and John walked off, disappearing into the transporter. She sighed and hoped things would look up for the colonel.

~*~*~*

The door to the transporter opened to the living quarters and John headed to his room in steady paces. He recalled his conversation with Elizabeth earlier and his mood dampened slightly. He didn't like being reminded about his situation with Harry, about how the doctor continued pushing him away. John knew that he should be contented that Harry was now within his sights and not god knows where, but finally seeing him after three years and having him in close proximity made it difficult for the colonel not to act on his feelings.

John rubbed the back of his neck; maybe he should talk to someone about it. The problem was that he wasn't good at expressing his feelings and he needed to find someone who could understand him despite that, plus the fact he couldn't just grab anyone in the city. Harry was probably the only one who knew and understood the real John Sheppard, which was the reason they had gotten along so easily when they first met, but the doctor was definitely out of the question. If he did, things between them would no doubt head southwards.

The colonel almost paused in mid-step when the next obvious person came to mind. Teyla would know what to do in such situations, or so he hoped. The Athosian always seemed to have this knowing look in her eyes and from the way she had glanced at him earlier, John was willing to bet that she knew about his feelings or at least suspected. He nodded to himself in his head as he decided to seek Teyla's opinion about it. He was about to reach his room when a voice called out to him.

"Colonel."

John turned and saw Lorne heading towards him. "What is it, Major?"

"There's a training exercise tomorrow at 0800. Just thought I should inform you, sir." Lorne replied and waited for the expected answer; he wasn't disappointed.

"I'm having an off-world mission." John immediately answered. He had managed to escape the previous ones due to missions and he wasn't going to stay for this one either. The exercise was for the marines to get a chance to vent off some steam but it was too much like his day job. He had enough of it with Ronan.

Lorne didn't bother to hide his grin, "I've checked, sir. You don't have any missions tomorrow." He wasn't going to give the colonel a chance to worm his way out. "Of course, if you can't make it due to paperwork, it's understandable, sir." The major said innocently, though the growing grin on his face kind of destroyed the effect. It wasn't often that he had a hold on the colonel.

John raised an eyebrow. He knew that the last sentence was a sarcastic one since he never did any paperwork. He had to hand it to his second-in-command; using paperwork to blackmail him into going for the exercise, though he would probably get into trouble if he didn't have Lorne since all his paperwork was done by the major. He was going to let this go, for now. "All right Major."

"I'll take my leave, sir." Lorne said as he walked away, feeling satisfied as he had done the impossible.

The next morning, other than the six marines who were on duty at the gate room, everyone else were present, including one very reluctant John Sheppard. The marines were obviously surprised to see him and wondered how Major Lorne, the one in charge of this exercise managed to prevent their Commanding Officer from getting himself excused from this. "Glad you're able to join us, sir." Lorne said with a smile. John returned the smile, though it was just for show and Lorne knew that. The colonel sighed inwardly; it was a hell of a way to start his day.

~*~*~*

Teyla thought of herself to be someone who noticed things that others didn't, and it came as a surprise when she found out that Harry knew martial arts. She had never seen nor heard the doctor sparring against anyone, and if she hadn't happened to walk onto him training alone, she would never have known. The Athosian was glad that she did as she soon found out that he was a very good fighter and other than Ronan, Harry proved to be a challenge. She watched as the doctor warmed himself up and said to him, "It still surprises me that you know martial arts, Harry."

"Because I'm a doctor?" Harry asked as he stretched himself. It was still early so no one was in the training room, which was what he preferred since he hadn't wanted anyone to walk in on them sparring.

"A little, since healers are not usually known to be skilled in martial arts." Teyla answered truthfully. "But mainly because I have never heard nor seen you spar against anyone in Atlantis."

Harry gave her a slightly exasperated look. "My duty is to heal people, not get them sent to the infirmary." Not to mention Carson would have a fit if that ever happened, plus he did not want to become Ronan's full-time sparring partner. He paused for a slight moment. "Besides, don't you remember what happened the first time we spared?"

"You were a little... intense." Teyla explained and the doctor looked at her in disbelief.

"Teyla, that wasn't intense and it definitely wasn't a little." Harry said, "I was about to kill you." When they first sparred, it started out as a friendly spar until Harry got too serious and lost control. If it hadn't been for her getting him back to his senses in time, he would have killed her. After that, he refused to spar with her again until her persistence finally paid off, however reluctantly.

"You lost control, but you have proved to be a skilled fighter." The Athosian woman said with a sincere tone.

Harry gave her a grim smile, "That's because we were trained for different reasons. You were trained to protect or kill in order to protect, but I wasn't." He had been trained to kill, and seeing that it was in the middle of a war, it wasn't really much of a choice. Showing mercy to your opponents meant having a death wish and Harry had no intention of dying.

Teyla knew that it was a life that Harry did not like talking about and she never pushed. She believed that he would share when he was ready. "But you are a doctor now. You have saved countless of lives. You should not forget that." Teyla reminded Harry and he let a smile graced his features. The Athosian had the uncanny ability of making him feel better when he's down.

"You're right." Harry said as he picked up the two rattan sticks, twirling them in his hands. His gaze shifted to her, "I won't go easy on you."

The corner of Teyla's mouth went up, a strange glint in her eyes. "You do not have to." Teyla fell into defence position but Harry didn't fall into stance, simply inverted one of the rattan sticks so it lay against his right arm. Teyla eyed the movement before leaping towards him. Harry saw the two blows coming simultaneously and blocked the first attack with his right, causing it to land on his arm that was protected by the stick and swung his left to counter her attack in midair. He used his weight to his advantage and pushed against her, forcing her to retreat and swung his leg towards her hips, causing her to stagger back.

She barely regained her balance when she was forced to block the blows that were aimed at her hip and leading leg. Teyla had sparred with Harry a couple of times and knew that he was swift, but had never been able to react fast enough. She managed to block both with some difficulty by using her stick and one of her legs. Teyla took a strike at Harry face but the latter dodged easily, falling to the ground and sweeping her legs from behind, then grabbed her throat and slammed her to the ground. His knees pinning her rattan sticks to the floor while both of his were in his other hand, holding them against her throat.

Teyla was smiling despite her loss and the glint still hadn't faded from her eyes. Harry removed his hand and rattan sticks from her neck and shifted, offering her a hand as he stood. The Athosian accepted it and as soon as she was on her feet, she swung her leg towards his face without warning while still holding his hand, preventing him from moving back to dodge the attack. Harry blocked the kick with his left arm, which was protected by both sticks that were lying against it. He mimicked her actions, taking advantage of the opening on her left.

She immediately released his hand, flipping herself backwards and into defence position. Her rattan sticks had been kicked across the room during the previous attacks, and Harry flung his sticks to the side of the room carelessly, throwing a punch at her when her eyes flicked towards them. The Athosian managed to avoid the blow but wasn't given the chance to react when he used his right leg as pivot and spun, slamming his leg into her chest. Teyla took the full force of it, and would have hit the ground from the impact if Harry hadn't caught her arm and cushioned her fall mid-way with his leg.

Harry pulled her upright and looked at her in concern. "I'm so sorry. You okay?" She was probably going to end up with a nasty bruise from that attack.

Teyla gave him an assuring smile. "I'm fine." She hadn't had this much fun when sparring with others and she wasn't going to let this stop any future spars with Harry. The doctor looked her over and after being certain that she really wasn't in any pain, he let out a sigh of relief. Thank god she was fine or else Carson would kill him for landing someone into the infirmary.

Harry turned to where he had thrown his rattan sticks, intending to pick them up and wasn't surprised to see that they have audiences. He picked the sticks up and looked at the stunned colonel. "Learn anything?"

His question brought John out of his daze. "You never mentioned that you could fight." When he entered the training room, he had been surprised to see Harry in it and more taken aback to see him sparring with Teyla and defeating her. For all the years he had known the doctor, he had no idea that he knew martial arts.

Harry shrugged as he placed the sticks into his bag. "No one ever asked." He turned and looked at John questioningly. "What are all the marines doing here anyway?" He asked curiously, noticing that the marines were looking at him as if they just met him for the first time and Harry resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

"Training exercise." John replied rather grumpily. Harry nodded, trying his hardest to keep the grin off his face.

He heard that the marines had this sort of training every once in a while to vent off some steam and he totally agree with it. Having to babysit so many scientists, they would all go nuts if they did not have an outlet to vent. Harry looked to Lorne, "You actually got Colonel Sheppard to appear. I'm impressed." He said in mock awe, clearly ignoring the presence of said person. "I heard that he always managed to find an excuse for it."

"I'm impressed with myself too." Lorne answered with a grin. "I checked to make sure that there weren't any off-world missions, so Colonel Sheppard would actually be free." This caused some snickers from the present marines and an amused smile from Teyla. John glared at the pair, obviously not finding it funny at all.

Harry nodded approvingly. Lorne just gave him another reason to like him. "I'm really impressed." He looked at the annoyed colonel. "You need to use the room?"

"If you and Teyla are done with it," Said John, who was still annoyed.

"We done? Harry ignored him and asked Teyla, who nodded after packing her stuff. "Have fun." He said to the colonel, throwing his bag over his shoulder and left the room, the Athosian following behind him, but not before giving John a meaningful look.

~*~*~*

The pair headed for the transporter in a comfortable silence before Harry spoke, "Just say what's on your mind." He tried to ignore, but the discrete glances that she was shooting him were rather distracting.

Teyla thought for a moment before asking, "Are you seeing anyone?"

Harry blinked, obviously not the question he was expecting. "No... why?" He asked slowly, as if he was threading on dangerous grounds. He wondered if there was some kind of trap lying around.

The Athosian woman shrugged gracefully, "You have been here for a while, and I thought you might be interested in someone. And I have heard some women in the expedition talking about you."

A pair of eyebrows was raised above their normal position. Okay, he had no idea that he was a topic for the women in Atlantis. "Huh, never thought I would be a subject that women talk about." Harry said amusingly. "What about you? You've been here longer than I have." He asked.

"No, and do not try to change the subject." Teyla answered with a knowing look on her face.

Harry gave a shrug. He hadn't really thought about it. "Being in Atlantis kind of limits the kind of people I can choose, plus they aren't the kind that I would want to be with." He commented before pausing and turned to her, "No offence." If the circumstances had been different, Teyla would be the kind of woman that Harry looked for; beautiful, strong and compassionate.

Teyla smiled, "None taken." It might be his imagination but she seemed happy to hear his answer. "Then are you interested in anyone?" She asked curiously.

There was a slight pause as Harry tilted his head to the side. "No," he replied after a while, ignoring when a pair of hazel flashed past his mind.

Teyla thought for a moment, "Harry, what would you do if you found out that someone has feelings you?" She asked slowly.

Harry arched an eyebrow, surprised at the question. The Athosian wasn't someone to go asking questions like this. "Who?"

"There is no need for names if you know who it is." She said with a certainty in her voice. Harry stopped in his steps, causing her to do the same and turned to face her fully.

The doctor looked at Teyla with those searching green eyes before answering. "I won't do anything because I won't accept that person." Harry said as he sighed inwardly; he should have expected something like this from Teyla. She was too observant for his liking at times, and this was one of those times. "Even if I do care for them..." he said softly, "especially when I return their feelings."

Teyla looked at Harry, question reflecting in her eyes. "Why?" The question was soft but to Harry, it was like a sharp knife implanted into his chest.

"I..." Harry struggled for the right words, "I had people who are close to me, but they..." He frowned before sighing, "Let's just say people close to me tend to have very short lives."

The bitter smile on Harry's face made Teyla's heart ache. She reached out with both hands and gently held his face. "You cannot have a future if you continue to be trapped in the past."

Green eyes shifted to the ground, "But the past refuses to let me go."

"Letting go of the past does not mean forgetting about it." She said patiently. "Your past is what makes you the person you are today; without it, you may not have chosen to become a doctor and all the lives that you saved would have been lost."

She had no idea how right she was. If he hadn't been involved in the war, he would have most likely chosen to become an Auror rather than a doctor. And he didn't regret the choice that he made; he might not have been able to save those who died in the war, but at least he had the chance to do so now.

Harry rewarded her with a small smile, "Thanks."

Teyla returned a smile of her own. "Do not let your past stop you from reaching out to people that you care about."

Harry let out a soft laugh; he knew that helping him let go of his past wasn't the only intention Teyla had, but he didn't comment on it. If she had been from earth, Harry would have recommended her for a position as a lawyer; she was really good with words and very convincing as well.

The remaining journey to the transporter was still in silence but now, they had more to think about than they had earlier.

~*~*~*

TBC


	3. Author Notes

To all readers,

This is unfortunately not an update; it is to inform you that this story is currently being rewritten.

I'm sorry if I got your hopes up.

Sorrow Angel


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